Hi, I’m back. Another episode of The Bachelor has graced our televisions, so I am once again asking you to accompany me on this journey. Will you accept this rose?
This week, Zach had two one-on-one dates and one big group date. His first one-on-one was with Kaity, a super positive, smiley woman who I imagine is a preschool teacher (but I looked it up, she’s actually a nurse). They enjoy an admittedly pretty awesome date night at the Natural History Museum, roaming the halls looking at stuffed cheetahs and dinosaur bones. Kaity is gobsmacked! This is the best date she’s ever been on, and for some reason she directs all that gratitude toward Zach. As if there’s not some exhausted production assistant behind the scenes that had to skip dinner because they got a last-minute request to set up a formal dining area in the T-rex exhibit. But yea, sure. Thanks for everything, Zach.
Zach asks Kaity if she’d like to spend the night with him at the museum and she immediately takes him up on his offer. Cue shrieks of jealousy from the girls back at the mansion.
Next up was the big group date and the highlight of the episode for me. The women were split into two teams and competed in The Bachelor Bowl: a tackle football game coached by football legends Shawne Merriman and Antonio Gates. Within the first few minutes a girl was down on the field with a suspected injury (it later turned out she just wanted some close-up time with Zach). Overall, it was entertaining to watch these prim women push each other around on the field. The ladies on the losing teams were brought to tears over their defeat, which was funny in its own way.
The last one on one date was with Aly, another positive, upbeat lady (not a lot of sarcasm or dry humor on this show) and their date consisted of jumping out of a plane thousands of feet off the ground and relying on a thin sheet of fabric to keep them alive – otherwise known as skydiving. Zach and Aly, wearing a tux and bridal jumpsuit respectively, jumped out of said plane, teehee’d, and then had a heart to heart in a hot tub. You know, just regular dating stuff.
I wonder if part of the reason these women seem to fall in love with this stranger so quickly, is these elaborate dates? I can see how risking your life with a total stranger can make you feel like you know the guy.
The next day, there was a pool party at the house with Zach and his harem of ladies, complete with good-natured chicken fighting and Zach pretending to flip lukewarm hotdogs around on a grill. It was during this festive time that Brianna decided she wasn’t feeling it anymore and it was time for her to go. In one of the most relatable moments so far, Brianna seemed to imply that competing for the attention of a random man who you’re not even sure is into you was a bit of an ick. But before leaving, she made sure to call out fellow competitor Christina for being too competitive and all-around bad vibes.
Bad vibes? Zach was flabbergasted. No way could he be cool with having bad vibes in the house. He confronted Christina, who proceeded to cry her eyes out on the stairs. Add it to the list of moments when a white woman has cried after being called out for being rude to a black woman. Oh, the humanity.
Zach was stumped. To have bad vibes or to not have bad vibes, that is the question. He summed up his thought process poetically when he said: “I don’t make these decisions…I don’t make them… easy.”
Thankfully, when it came time for Zach to hand out roses at the end of the episode, he didn’t offer one to Christina, who seemed pretty bummed but accepting of the decision.
Which, interestingly enough, is exactly how I feel about my decision to watch this season.
See you next week.
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