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  • Writer's pictureAliya

Advice: Take the Booth

Picture this: You’re at the nicest restaurant in town for a first date with someone you really like, and after waiting for a table for over an hour, they’ve seated you within earshot of the bathroom. When the hostess was leading you to your table, you were sure she had made a mistake. Why is there even a table here? People are literally bumping into you on their way to the lavatories. Upon being seated, you immediately protested, “Please ma’am, any table but this one. Is there anything you can do?” She tells you she’ll see what she can do, and she hurries back to her post.

You watch her leave and you’re surprised. Sure, you didn’t think ahead and request a certain table when you made your reservation, but you never thought this would happen. You and your date order strong drinks and sip between the constant flushing that sounds as though it’s within arm’s reach. What a nightmare.

As the latest patron exits the bathroom and the stench wafts over to you, your date, and your breadbasket, the hostess returns. “I have another seating option for you on the other side of the restaurant.” At last!

You and your date jump up to follow her through the maze of tables to your new spot. You’re so excited; you think about how good your food will taste without that horrid smell lingering in the background. You realize that you’ve arrived at your new seat, with the hostess gesturing at a cozy booth in a dimly lit section of the restaurant. A booth? Sure, this is better, but is this really the best they can do? You hate sitting at booths, you always have. They make that fart-like squeaking noise when you're getting in and out of them. A table would have been so much better. Should you sit in this squeaky booth on your first date?

The answer: You should. You should sit in that booth on this first date. If it means not smelling excrement throughout your meal, there is no doubt that it is an improvement. And while a booth may not be your personal preference over a normal table, these are not normal circumstances. You are fleeing from dining beside a public restroom. This change will allow you to regain some type of normalcy in your date and focus on other things.

For some, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are the booth. They may not love and agree with the politics of one or both and are therefore unsure of how to vote. I am here to tell you that while these candidates may not be exactly what you want, they are our only option to move in a new and improved direction. After four years of a lying, racist, bullying, offensive, and ill-prepared president, our nation is at a crossroads. Do we continue the downward spiral, or do we spare ourselves that level of turmoil and move on from this?

Would it be amazing if every candidate you voted for represented your beliefs and perspectives top to bottom? Of course. But that is not the reality of politics. And this election is more dire than most. Let’s put the stench of shit behind us and get a breath of fresh air.

Another analogy for the people in the back:

"Voting isn’t marriage. It’s public transport. You’re not waiting for “the one”. You’re getting on the bus. And if there isn’t one going exactly to your destination, you don’t stay home and sulk. You take the one that’s going closest to where you want to be."

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